June and Q2 2024 Eval

It's been a whirlwind of a quarter.

I’m a bit nervous to do this tbh. I’ve made so many changes to my life this year and I think it’s most apparent in Q2. I’m nervous because what if I haven’t progressed as much as I wanted to. So, this is a good time for me to be kind to myself.

Anyway, some of you have expressed how much you enjoy reading this small personal growth evaluation of mine. I’m a bit surprised. Let’s just get to it then instead of a lengthy intro!

Personal finance

At the end of Q1, I hit all of my goals and set up new ones for Q2. Here’s a quick reminder of my Q2 goals:

1. to increase my emergency fund by 50%;

2. hit a new milestone on my net worth;

3. save more for the future (as in, increase my pension fund investment); and

4. allocate a bit more budget on certain posts.

I’m sorry to say I’ve only hit a couple of them 🫠

I got myself a couple of side gigs and that helped me hit my net worth target. The extra money also helped me to achieve target number 4. However, hitting target number 4 also means I had more money to spend. In Q2, I exceeded my daily allowances by 74.7% 🙈

So, no, I haven’t managed to increase my emergency fund at all. I even stopped investing in my pension fund for the whole Q2. I used the money to see SHINee and buy a bunch of their merchandise 😬 This is my investment for future happy memories lol

I’ve pretty much maxed out my credit card, so my new goal for Q3 is to finish paying off my SHINee debt. I’m not going to increase my emergency fund for now. I’m just going to figure out how to invest in the pension fund again while at the same time maintain my increasing SHINee budget. After my Seoul trips in 2023 and 2024, I predict an annual trip will be inevitable. The group members are (finally) (very) active with their solo projects again and I’d like to see them all. I’ll definitely still do side gigs, but I’m hoping to do only a few that pays well. I don’t have the time nor energy to do a series of many tiny side gigs anymore.

Health

Last quarter my goals were to move more and eat better. I finally did them!

I started a couch-to-5k running program in April. It’s a program that’ll help couch potatoes like me to be able to run 5 km in 9 weeks (I use this one). As of writing this, I’m on week 8 and now can lightly run for 28 minutes straight. Achievement! But I think the biggest surprise is finding out I like running. I find myself excited for my rest days to be over so I can run again. My running sessions feel like the only time I get to be with myself; no responsibilities and nobody wanting a piece of me. It’s like a half hour of being carefree.

After a month of consistent weekly running, I had the confidence to join a gym. There’s a new cheap one near home; it’s all very convenient, like the universe wants me to join the gym. I even hired a PT to make sure I exercise consistently and in correct forms. I attended a bunch of yoga and body-weight cardio classes. Very proper gymming! 😳

The biggest thing I’ve learned from all of this is turns out my body is stronger than I give it credit for! Every time I feel like I can’t run or lift anymore, I push through it to completion. Turns out my body can take it! I used to run and go to the gym in the past, but it was the kind that one started but never finished. I can see now that what I didn’t have was the mental fortitude to see things through despite the (physical) pain. I hate to become this cliche, but I’ve to admit that the only way to exercise consistently is to learn how to still do stuff despite your fear of pain. Be brave, my friends.

Talking about exercise, I do have some physical goals, but I still don’t know how to meaningfully discuss them without perpetuating the toxic beauty and wellness culture. I’m still struggling between my own vanity and my wanting to divest from such superficial culture. Let’s just say I haven’t moved any closer to my weight target and I’m trying to be okay with it. (It’s superficial, Uti!)

For now, my goal is just to show up and exercise. I’m gonna try not to look at the weight so much. That’s all I’m gonna ask from myself in Q3.

Lifestyle

Other than learning how to do stuff despite my fear of pain, I feel like one of the biggest factors that’s helped me to exercise is changing my whole lifestyle. Mind you, I’m a single mid-level manager with no tanggungan nor KPR to pay off. My room of movement is pretty big. That’s also why I thought I had no reason to be a bum. I should be able to change my life and work environment for the kind of slow living I want to lead. And, that’s what I did.

I spent months changing my sleeping schedule. I’m a morning person. I think and have the best energy before lunch. Nowadays I go to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 5am. I run in the morning and go to the gym after work (on alternating days of course). It’s been great for my energy levels but I can’t help feeling it’s at the expense of my social life. I simply have to go home after work and gym, because I have to clean up and start winding down for sleep. I had to learn to be okay to only socialize during the day of the weekends. Even now, I think I’m still learning how to be okay with it.

I’d also like to eat better. In Q1 I’d made a habit out of making my own breakfast every day. In Q2, I tried to cook dinner more. It’s not consistent yet, but it’s a start. My goal is still to cook my own meals for 50% of the week. I think I’m gonna get there in Q3.

I’m not really into food, but I’ve managed to find a couple of recipes that I don’t hate. So I just rotate those recipes between weeks. In the past years, I’d learned to not crave salt and sugar so much. That makes cooking so much simpler and easier.

One of the recipes I really, really enjoy: Chinese egg and tomato stir fry. So simple to cook and yet so tasty??

I gotta say, I’m enjoying how simple my life is nowadays. My routine is predictable. My job is not that demanding. I’m not rushed to anything. I can just enjoy myself and do things slowly. I even treasure my meal times now. My simple food and recipes are boring, but delicious and filling. I get to enjoy them while watching stuff or reading the news. In addition, I’m barely on Twitter and Instagram these days. My head feels so… spacious. My nervous system is not fried.

If there’s one thing I’m concerned about, I don’t know how to meet potential dates yet. So far I’ve got a couple of new friends from the gym. Let’s see where this goes. 👀

Art and writing

I wrote a feature! It’s only the first draft so I still have a bunch of revisions ahead of me. But now I know for a fact that I can write a feature movie! It boosts my confidence so much, you have no idea. I can do anything!! (I still haven’t managed to write an 80,000-word novel yet, so that’s still in the bucket list)

My series is also moving forward to filming. So I’ll be pretty busy around July to August. I’m a bit nervous about this series because it’s a comedy about teenage sex education. I’m trying my best to be entertaining but also responsible. I really hope the audience won’t take it the wrong way (too much).

I’ve also said that I wrote a short story. It’ll be out at the end of July. Please expect a short news from me when it’s announced. 😘

Those of you who follow me on Instagram probably have seen that I teach screenwriting too for a master of literature program. I have ten students and they’re all awesome. The first semester is over and I’m currently reading the scripts they submitted for end-of-term exams. This is my first time teaching a formal education and I still have a lot of room for improvement. But for the most part, I’m glad I got through it okay.

Exposing myself to films

Here we go! I’m actually excited for this one!!

I watched 85 films across Q1 and Q2 (13 films in June) (so my rate is around 1 film every 2 days now). And guess what? I actually enjoy going to the movies now!!

Oh my god, before this year, going to the movies felt like a chore. I hated that I had to get out of the house; spend money on transportation and food, THEN the movie ticket. Felt like so much effort just to see a movie.

But this year, I’ve learned to make a ritual out of it!! Just like I enjoy my running sessions, I turn my movie sessions into dates with myself. There were times I even preferred to see the movie alone rather than with people who were only going to ruin the experience. I use the time to indulge in fun entertainment and good food. I get to stretch my legs and window shop around the mall; probably buy myself a little souvenir or two. With that said, it’s still hard for me to motivate myself to go to the movies when nothing good is on, but I’m gonna work on that in Q3.

I don’t know if I’m at a cinephile level yet, but I’ve started to enjoy watching movies now too. I hate to say it, but I feel like it does take a certain level of elitism to really enjoy movies. The story and acting are not enough (and there are so many badly written and badly acted movies out there!). To really enjoy movies, one needs to understand how a movie is made. That way, one can finally enjoy not only the story, but also the images. I see now that there’s so much a movie offers other than the story alone. However, this has also made me aware of how inaccessible movies can be as an art form. You have to make the story really good, because that’s the most accessible part for most audience. Yes, I’m aware of how elitist I sound. I’m disappointed that this is my biggest takeaway from my “movie program”. I’m still going to watch a lot of movies until the end of the year and I hope I’ll find other insights on this.

Anyway, I managed to watch “How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies” for the third time before it made its exit from the cinema. I didn’t cry as much as I did in the first viewing, but istg I loved the movie even more upon the third one. That movie is so special.

In conclusion…

I feel like my life is finally running in “full force” now. I’m curious where it’ll take me at the end of the year.

I haven’t reached all my Q2 goals, but turns out I’m okay with it. I still move forward and I think that’s the most important part. In fact, I’m planning to slow down and take it easier in Q3. With all the film productions queueing in H2, I think I’m gonna need all the rest I can get.

I’m still aiming to really live and socialize locally. A bunch of my friends are in Jakarta. It takes a lot of money and energy to go there every weekend. I have to learn how to live where I am now. So, no, I have no regrets joining the gym.

We’ll see what’ll happen in Q3~