I’m not a lawyer anymore. At least I haven’t been since the beginning of 2023. At the time it was happening, all the career changes felt complicated. Looking back, it was actually pretty straightforward.
I joined the company in a legal capacity. Knowing that I liked to write, the producers often invited me for brainstorming sessions. Eventually, they asked me to write. Lacking producers, they asked me to produce. The work was so time-consuming, they finally asked me to choose between legal and writing. I chose the latter.
Writing has always been a dream career of mine. I thought I’d never be a professional writer, but hey look at where we are! However, with a dream realized comes new worries. I’m starting to think maybe this is it. I don’t know if I still have lawyering as a safety net. I don’t think I have it in me to start all over again, career-wise. On the other hand, if I want to make it in the film industry, I’m gonna have to gear up now. I have so much to catch up on. The problem is… I’m not really a movie buff.
Just to be clear, when I say “movies”, I’m referring to an audiovisual narrative work longer than an hour in duration, which contains a complete story arc in itself, commonly distributed to the cinema theaters for its first window (though that’s changing thanks to platforms such as Netflix, Disney+, etc). So, in this case, a “movie” is different to a “series”, which is an audiovisual narrative work that is usually less than an hour per episode, and takes more than one episode to finish its story arc, mainly distributed to the small screens.
I hope that makes sense cos I’ve just made those definitions myself. 🤣
Anyway, I’m not a movie buff, but I love series as a medium. Like, I really love series. Apparently, some people find it weird that I differentiate the two, considering both of its audiovisual nature. But I’m telling you, they’re vastly different. The way I consume them is different. Now that I’m writing and producing both films and series, I’ve experienced that the way to make them is also different.
How does this relate to my problem? To get really granular, my true passion is stories. I like how stories shape our lives. I like how the right kind of story may change a person. I love stories. Reading books is a way to sit with a story for hours. TV series is essentially a very looong story about a handful of characters you care about (it’s 11 seasons, you say? I say give me more). Compared to them, movies feel like… a quick snack. You sit for a couple of hours, feel something for a bit, then you move on with your life (granted, some exceptional movies make me feel things, but most of them do not). It’s not enough for me.
I want to follow a character’s long journey and detours. I want to know their friends and family. I want to enjoy how a setup in season 1 episode 5 pays off big time in season 5 episode 16 (shout out to my Breaking Bad homies). By the time the series ends, these characters will stay with me for life. Their life stories will be a part of me. Movies, unfortunately, rarely give me that.
Culturally, I grew up and spent more time with small screens rather than the big ones. I didn’t have a lot of opportunity to go to the cinemas. The nearest available cinema theater took two angkot trips to get to. And alas, I didn’t have the money to pay for tickets. Sure, we could watch movies at home. But we couldn’t afford cables, so our choices were limited. Laser discs weren’t exactly cheap either. Also, no, there was no movie rents near me. So yeah, what I had were seasons of series broadcast on free-to-air channels on my TV. And the habit stuck, even when I transitioned to laptops and smart phones. [Note: this post is edited on 21 January 2024 to add this paragraph to give you more context of where I’m coming from.]
And yet, I work in the film industry. Sometimes that makes me feel guilty, because I feel like I got to where I am quite easily. I know there are many people out there who want this more badly than me. They actually went to school for it and crawled their way up from the bottom of the barrel, and still they don’t get the privileges I’m enjoying today. I do feel the responsibility to not waste this opportunity I’ve been given. I must create some worthwhile movies.
Despite the series format is currently on the rise, the biggest potential revenue still comes from movies being distributed to the cinema theaters. Series will keep us afloat for a bit, but I’m still expected to churn out movies. However, I don’t watch a lot of movies. I don’t get the references the producers mention. I can’t imagine what kind of things are possible to do in movies. And surprisingly, they’ve asked me to teach scriptwriting in schools and workshops (I fulfill the administrative requirements for the position, so yeah). Now it’s become necessary for me to educate myself.
There’s that expression, “tak kenal maka tak sayang”. Maybe that’s how I feel about movies? That I simply need to get to know it enough? Honestly, thinking about setting aside a big chunk of my time to get to know movies doesn’t really appeal to me, but I gotta eat my vegetables. Besides, the timing was right. 2023 was ending and everyone was making resolutions for the new year. Maybe getting to know movies will be mine.
So I spent the last couple of weeks of 2023 compiling lists of “best” movies from prestigious awards and countries with big film industries. I tried to be as diverse as possible, so I made sure to also include Asian works (including Indian and Thai movies). I’d compiled about 300 titles. When I finish this list, I already know I’m going to put some African movies next. Just to make it more fun and keep myself more accountable, I made a Letterboxd account to log some short reviews. Please join me in this journey. 🥺
I also like knowing my history, so I made another list of “best” books about movies. This THR list helps a lot. I’d compiled about 100 titles for now. Most of them are American books. I tried to look for some Indonesian ones, but I didn’t get that many. I haven’t dared to look for film books published in other countries. I’m not sure if they’re available in English either. For this one, I’m going to post my reviews at Goodreads.
Having spent hours making these two lists, I thought I was done. I was quite proud of the mini curriculum I made with these lists. That’s when I realized that I’m literally a scriptwriter who don’t really read movie scripts. I need another list then. For this one, I tend to choose Best Picture nominees and winners, as well as box office successes (Script Slug is my savior). I tried to look for Indonesian scripts, but alas, I don’t know where they’re available. I think we desperately need some kind of online directory to archive our local film resources.
“Falling in love” with movies sounds a bit too ambitious, but I hope these three lists will help me to get to know movies more (at least by osmosis!!). My intention is for me to be more exposed to movies in a productive way as opposed to a consumptive one. It’s mid-January and I’ve crossed some titles off my lists, but I don’t have any insights for now. Not sure if I ever will, but we’ll see.
I do wonder though, what if after exhausting all of my lists, I’m still not as inclined to movies as I am today? That’s worth an examination of its own. But if I really think about it, I don’t mind specializing in series. If I must, that’s my medium of choice. But now I’ve also become curious. I don’t want to entirely refuse movies before I really get to know it. So I’m giving myself this chance to get to know them. Who knows, maybe there’s a sleeping cinephile in me.
PS. Happy new year, my friends. It’s been a minute. How are you? I’m doing well. I hope you’re living a good life as well. Thank you for still being here with me. I’ll talk to you soon. 💛