2024: A Reflection
In Mrs. Whatsit's voice, "WE'RE HEEEEERE!"
First of all, happy new year, my friends! May you have a meaningful 2025!
Now that’s out of the way, I promise I meant to write and post this reflection in December. I never got around to it because of reasons. But, hey, I got to collect data right until the end of the year!
I got to do A LOT this year. I thank myself for not setting too many goals or plans for 2024. Not only I managed to achieve most of the goals and more, I was also less stressed. My aspiration is to live a “set-it-and-forget-it” life, so I can just enjoy my days. So my method was to set some goals, translate them into daily and weekly tasks, then forget the goals. I just focus on my tasks: done, checked; not done, unchecked, reflect, do better tomorrow. I didn’t let myself think too far ahead. The furthest is tomorrow and tomorrow only. Turns out I still achieved my goals anyway. And that, I conclude, is the power of incremental changes.
Let’s get down to the reflection.
Health
Goals: move more and lose some weight
Tasks: weekly gym and running sessions
Achievements: I got two running medals, 5K and 7K!
According to my health app, in 2024 I ran for 115.22 km (that’s almost 3 marathons!), and that doesn’t include all the untracked running I did. At one point, the numbers and data stressed me out, so I just did some running without any tracking. Set my stopwatch and that’s it.
I tried to lose some weight, but I knew the underlying motivation was my body dysmorphia and its irrational urge to be thin. I went to the gym and stressed myself out for not losing weight or body fat percentage fast enough. It also demotivated me from going to the gym. So I stopped. I told myself I exercise to make my life and body stronger and more comfortable. I stopped weighing myself so obsessively.
2025: I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing. I’m setting my eyes on getting 10K and 15K running medals.
Creative
Goals: write and create more, finish a novel
Tasks: weekly writing
Achievements: I published “Wasiat” in “Museum Teman Baik”, I wrote my first feature film (we’re on draft 8 now), I showran another series (slated to be released Q1 2025), I published (almost) monthly blog posts.
Honestly, I didn’t manage to write weekly. I also planned to post a blog every week, but only managed to do it monthly. I realize I was aiming bigger than my current capacity. But even so, all the writing I did in 2024 was already a lot. Series production, especially, took a lot out of me. That was a good experience and data point to have. I know where my creative limit is, for now.
I was also stressed about writing meaningful stuff in this blog, but again, I don’t have the capacity yet. For the most part, my posts were stream-of-consciousness first (or 1.5) draft. I decided to be kind to myself and said I was just going to focus on building the habit first. My only job was to prove to myself that I could write and publish something somewhat routinely, and that’s enough. And I did it.
I don’t know if this counts as creative, education, or giving back, but last year I taught two semesters of screenwriting fundamentals. I taught 15 wonderful students and I’m so happy seeing them bloom as screenwriters.
2025: finish that novel (I got an interested editor now aka concrete motivation), write another feature film, continue teaching a screenwriting class, and start a particular advocacy project in the film industry (my friend is in a revolutionary mood and invited me to tag along. I’ll talk more about it in the future).
As for this blog, I still aim to post something every month, except this time it’s going to be more intentional and prepared. I’ve been thinking about my public communication as well, and I’ve decided I don’t want to clutter the internet anymore than it already is. I will strive to only post something that has a story or reflection in it (other than news or promotion).
Learning from last year, I’m not planning too much. Even this is already a lot, and I know there’ll be additional projects coming along the way. I’m making room for those.
Personal Finance
Goals: hit a certain net worth, save more for retirement
Tasks: spend less than my daily/weekly allowance
Achievements: my net worth’s up by 29.4% (thanks to “Museum Teman Baik” and “Kuasa Gelap” doing very well in 2024)
At the end of the year, I learned that I went overbudget on my daily/weekly allowance by 71.23% on average. I also learned that my overbudget percentage increased every quarter. Despite all that, my net worth still increased, which means I’ve earned way more than I spent (also, my issue, then, is mostly cashflow). All credit goes to being mentally and emotionally stable (and YNAB). It’s sooo much easier to navigate life (and money) when you’re sane.
I had a lot of fun last year with friends and family. I traveled more than I used to. I went abroad three times, one of which I went on a whim. And it didn’t ruin my finances. I realize now that I truly, truly no longer deserve to joke about being “poor” (you know, “duh gue lagi miskin nih”). I’ve always known how privileged and lucky I am, but growing up financially struggling confused me a lot about the state of being “poor”. I can conclude now that I’m not poor at all. I used to mismanage my money and often went broke, but I’ve never been poor.
Despite all the money I spent on SHINee (concerts tickets, international travel, merchandise, etc), at the end of the year, my spending on them is only about 15% of my whole 2024 expenses. I am now confident that over the years I have successfully created some good financial habits, that I can “set-it-and-forget-it” and enjoy where life takes me.
2025: I have a new net worth milestone to hit. I increase my daily/weekly allowance by 50% (a middle ground between my actual spending tendency and my effort to save) (let’s see if it’ll help me to spend less this time). No-skip monthly retirement saving. No spending week every third week of the month (cook for the whole week! Shop for essentials only).
Film Study
Goals: figure out what’s so fun about movies
Tasks: watch all the movies on the list I made in early 2024
Achievements: I watched 141 movies (that’s almost 3 movies weekly) (3 of those movies were “How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies”).
Yes, I did watch a lot of movies. But in the end, what made me figure out the joy of movies was the act of filmmaking itself. Knowing more about how a film is made, and how the medium speaks and conveys what it wants to say, has increased my appreciation for the art form. One discussion with an industry friend taught me that it’s not about the technical prowess of the movie itself, but about how effective the movie takes advantage of the available filmmaking techniques to say what it wants to say. That was a mindblowing discussion.
Also,
has taught me a lot about how to appreciate art. Turns out it doesn’t have to be fancy schmancy. You just need to look deeper into the art with your heart, which everybody can do.2025: it’s not going to be a top priority, but I will keep studying the medium of films. I also want to write about filmmaking more to share the joy of it.
The one goal I didn’t get to do at all was decluttering. Ever since A’s passing, I’ve wanted to do a major decluttering so it’ll be easier for my loved ones to tidy up my life when I pass. Alas, I had no brain space left for it. The goal is forwarded to 2025.
Learning from 2024, I’m going to do my decluttering in batches. I’ll start with my most lived-in spaces: my closet and kitchen. Those spaces will be divided further into its individual shelves, nooks, and crannies (let’s call each of them a “unit”). The task is to declutter one unit every other day. I believe it’ll all be done by the end of 2025.
I still have more achievements to show off!
I started a 5-year journal in March and I wrote in it every day! This one was inspired by
’s baby journal. Writing only a paragraph a day has helped me a lot in maintaining the habit. A paragraph is very doable. I can’t wait to reread everything I write after 5 years.I ate more frequently. I used to have issues with eating. Getting my meals 3 times a day took some training, but I did it. After shooting, I was depressed for a couple of months and missed a bunch of meals. I got so dizzy and sick, which immediately stopped as soon as I started having breakfast again. WHAT. I’m sorry to report that breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day.
I saw SHINee 4 times: SHINee World Concert VI encore stages in Seoul, Key’s Keyland 2024 in Jakarta, Taemin’s Ephemeral Gaze in Jakarta, and Minho’s Mean of My First in Seoul. Onew will be holding his solo concert in February 2025, so I guess I’m gonna see SHINee again~ I still want to travel places, but maybe this time I’m going for museums and film festivals.
I took an acting class for 2 months. It gave me a lot of insights for my screenwriting. I really encourage all screenwriters to learn acting in order to write better.
I’ve curated 100 pictures for my 2024 photo album. It’s fascinating to see whose faces appear constantly, appear then disappear, appear later, or make no appearance at all despite being so close to me (including A). I can’t wait to print this album.
I have left the Twitter life. Sometimes I open Twitter when there’s a DM, but I don’t scroll the feed anymore. Good god, my brain got so much quieter and calmer. I really don’t miss all the internet drama. If it’s dramatic or important enough, I’d still hear about it one way or another. But for everything else, I really don’t care.
I made a lot of new friends this year! I got to meet new people from projects and events, and some of them have grown to be my friends 🥰
Celebrate the small wins, my friends! They amount to a lot!
So, in 2024 I learned to stop optimizing. Just focus on the habit making. The optimization can come later, after the habit is formed.
I also learned that slow living as a concept is nice and aspirational, but turns out you can’t go cold turkey on the slowing down part. You need to decelerate slowly and strategically. I think the hardest part is divesting from the productivity mindset. It’s hard to unlearn productivity and relearn that I’m still worthy even when I don’t produce anything for capital owners.
When I lost my routine and habits after shooting, I know I was really annoyed. But as learning goes, I realize it was a necessary phase to go through. Without that period of chaos, I wouldn't realize what such habits meant to me. Now that I'm back in the habits, I’m more motivated to keep them.
Now we get to the acknowledgment part of the post. For the most part, I maintain this space to tell my friends that I’m still alive; to maintain connection with friends whom I don’t see every day. I don’t really promote this blog to the public at large, but I’m looking to change that in 2025. I should learn how to be meaningfully more vulnerable in public, and share what I know with people. But before that; my friends, thank you so much for staying and reading in the past year. If you maintain a blog of your own, please tell me, because I’d like to keep up with your life too!
Also, I’d like to thank these people for making my year more fun and meaningful:
Everyone involved in “Culture Shock”. Showrunning this series has been such a cherished experience. The thick and thin we went through together, oof. I hope it’s all gonna be worth it when the series is out.
Everyone at POST Press. I feel so lucky to have collaborated with them not once, but twice. I feel chosen to be honest. And they’ve been such a great patron and caretaker of my short stories, I’m so touched by everything they’ve done for my work. Sayang POST banget pokoknya.
Mas Arief Ash Shiddiq from Wahana Kreator Nusantara (the production house that made “Dua Garis Biru” and “Like & Share”). I’m so fortunate to have him as my mentor. I learned a lot of filmmaking from him this year.
My gym and running buddies. You’ve made exercising so much more fun and meaningful.
My Shawol friends, especially Echa, Sangeh, and Nonie. It’s been great, fun, and such an honor to travel the world and see SHINee with you. 💎
Alright, this post’s been running a bit long, so I’m going to end it here. I’m happy to have grown in 2024. Here’s to more growing in 2025. 🍻
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